Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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