but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
