I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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