filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
