that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
