He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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