Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize