I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
