I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
