Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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