the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
