i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize