Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
