please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
