Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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