I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
