Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize