help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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