I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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