I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
