I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
