currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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