Kiss
Puke
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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