Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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