I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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