I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
