just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
