And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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