If i could tip my vagina, i would.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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