Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can't turn off my feet"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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