We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
