It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
