So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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