I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It was confusing and full of hummus
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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