Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
