I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
