belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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