Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
