I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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