i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
