Someone shit on the floor
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
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It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
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It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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