I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
