i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
