just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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