I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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