kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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