White coat. Heels.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
