I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it glows. i had to have it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
