i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?