this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?