for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.