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• (989): View more from Michigan

  We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.

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• (805): View more from California

  i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (631): View more from New York

  My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT

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• (406): View more from Montana

  You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  That literally makes no sense

  (406): View more from Montana

  Exactly

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.

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