Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
