i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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