WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
