Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
