That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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