shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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