If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
