Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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