last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
farters have to be the big spoon...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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