i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
