3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
