i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
