I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
