My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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