so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
