I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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